The Jumbo Burger That Probably Had The Volume Of A Lay’s Chips Packet

The guy looked left, right and then left again. He looked at me (Aavi) and asked for my code. Aavi swallowed nervously, shifted uncomfortably and held up his phone, praying that his details were correct. The guy reached into his bag and pulled out a package. Aavi inhaled sharply and reached out to take the package. It was a lot smaller then he expected. Aavi mouthed a brief thanks and made of into the building with his package… And that’s the story of Aavi picking up his Uber eats meal. 🤣🍴

Hey there foodies, humans, aliens, animals and plants. Welcome to my blog, I’m here today to do a review of the Copper Chimney Jumbo Veg burger.

Between The Lines (Some Context)

This review will focus solely on the Copper Chimney Jumbo Veg Burger (referred to as JVB for the rest of this blog). This simple review will be broken down into distinct sensory properties, eating experience and pricing. I will NOT be using a numerical scoring system and this will be only opinionated.

For legal purposes, I have no affiliation or interest in Copper Chimney or David Copperfield (my predictive text is weird like me). This is also my opinion, which is likely wrong (like the finale of himym)

Sensory Properties

Sensory attributes, such as appearance, odor, flavor, taste, and texture of foods detectable by human senses, are often used to evaluate food. They can be used as measures of quality and of the desirability of food.

Overall Eating Experience

The practice of eating is now closely associated to the pleasures of taste, smell, touch, as well as specific behaviors and emotions.

Pricing (Pricing:Quantity Ratio)

Well honey, if you don’t know this, then can I please have your life savings because you clearly don’t need it.

The Selected Image Is Unavailable (Description and Appearance)

dav

My Taste In Food Isn’t As Bad As My Taste In Women, Is It? (Sensory Properties)

The description of the burger is short and simple. There’s no expectations created from reading the description. So let’s just knock appearance and aroma out of the way immediately (the same way I was kicked off any sports team in school without being allowed to try out).

The burger looks pretty much like a burger that is a fancy sandwich that uses buns instead of bread slices and places emphasis on each and every compoent within the burger. (the burgers contents are emphasised kinda like how the teacher has call out everyone’s name during attendance). There was nothing aromatically distinct about the burger. Aside from the chips soggy appearance, there was nothing to note. The salad is what I like to call the “magicians assitant”, but instead of being sawed in half (chewed between my teeth), it pulled a disappearing act and vanished (wasn’t included despite being listed in the order).

Texture and mouthfeel wise for the JVB, there was nothing particularly appealing aside from the onions. the onions had a pleasent crunchiness that you had to stop and appreciate. The patty’s texture is what you’d expect from soya, spongy and chewy. The chips had a soft soggy texture that was terrible. The salad you ask? The salad had felt softer than the gentlest wind breeze, felt almost non-existent between my teeth (probably because it wasn’t there).

Taste wise, the JVB was decent. I had a very neutral experience of the taste. The patty was flavourless aside from the typical soya taste. The onions were a pleasent umami. The lettuce was soggingly tasteless (guess soggy falls under mouthfeel but whatever). The tomato sauce had that cheap mix of acidic and vinegary flavour. There was a hint of chilli from the little chilli sauce (which I may or may not have imagined), but it reminded me of the dinosaurs, extinct (because it was so scarce). The chips tasted horrible and the salad was indescribale (partly because there was nothing to taste).

Overall, the taste of the JVB meal was fairly decent, I can’t really expect much as a vegetarian, which is obviously my choice, so I can’t blame anyone for that (like how I can’t blame my ex for being toxic because I made a choice to date her).

What You See Is What You Get (Pricing To Quantity Ratio)

The JVB product title chose to make use of the word “Jumbo”. I unsurprisingly am not able to properly put into the words the definition of “Jumbo”. However, Google defines “Jumbo” as a large person or thing. That being said, we all know that current burgers have decreased in size as the years have gone on. These days small burgers are advertised as “Regular-sized burgers” and regular-sized burgers are advertised as “Large burgers”. It’s usually your Gourmet and specialized branded burgers (like Whoppers and Mcfeasts) that are huge. A single of these burgers standalone are usually in the 3 figure Rands bracket (over a R 100) or borderline (and can be pushed over like Humpty Dumpty by a single add-on like chips or beverages).

Like David Copperfield, the advertised portion size (intangible) of my burger decided to elope with my salad (tangible). I was disappointed by the size of my burger. Despite being advertised as “Jumbo”, it didn’t even qualify as a “regular-sized” burger. The absence of the minuscule salad portion that I do enjoy eating, probably to pretend I’m healthy after shoveling fast foods (salt, fats, and carbs basically) down my throat wasn’t a big deal, I just mentioned it for attempted comedic effect. As for the chips portion, I think I’ve seen more potato on locust plagued farms.

The price was even more annoying and let me explain why. The JVB meal is advertised as R 53,00 (excluding delivery) which is decent. I think the delivery charge was about R 10,00 for about 2 Km or less (I don’t know if that’s expensive or not). So R63,00 isn’t bad you say?

Well, the burger purchase screen doesn’t allow you to purchase the JVB unless you agree to purchase cheese (which is just tasteless cholesterol) as an add-on for an additional R 10,00 bringing up that total to approximately R 73,00. So yeah, R 73,00 for a pseudo Jumbo burger just ain’t worth it. I could buy primogem in Genshin Impact for that price to pull Yae Miko.

So basically, no I don’t think the JVB was worth it’s almost premium price.

The Pot At The End of The Rainbow (Overall Experience)

The weed at the end of the rainbow? Nah, I’m just smoking out the last remaining slivers of humour in this conclusion.

As a willing vegetarian, I’ve accepted the food I eat out is almost always going to be inferior to the meat or meat alternative options. Additionally, the JVB wasn’t described to have some spectacular flavour, so there’s no sense of failed expectations. And I’m fine with that. So, I have no real issues with the taste of the JVB meal (or lack thereof).

My problem was the wording of the JVB meal that led me to believe that the portion sizes of the burger and chips would be larger (and that there would be a salad serving but I’m just playing here). In addition to this, the purchase screen forced me to purchase the burger with an add-on I didn’t even want.

Till Death Do We Part (Conclusion)

In conclusion, I should have bought a large burger and chips from the canteen that would have tasted better for half the price. That basically surmises the above pointless blog.

So anyway, that was my Twitter WordPress rant on the matter, hope your eyes didn’t dry up while crying over how bad this blog was. Take care all of you, spread some love and may God bless you all.

Jai Sri Krishna


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