Broken Fury (Thoughts)

And this is how it worked with my husband. I already know everything so don't even try to lie. It'll just make you look pathetic and stupid

Have you ever paid attention to yourself when you’re angry at someone? When you’re so mad that you can’t properly register your own thoughts ? I know what I’m like when I’m at a breaking point. I don’t yell nor do I scream like most people would. Instead I profile the person I’m furious with and my mind starts listing everything that I could use to shred the person into pieces. And at the back of my mind, squashed somewhere behind the fury is sorrow. A sorrow that washes over me reminding me that I am responsible for interacting with this person. And as I speak to them, I do not speak in riddles nor do I recite the truth. Instead I question the victim of my wrath. With each question, my voice seems to decreases in volume but increase with a calm venom. Each question is more simple yet dangerous than the last . And my victims can almost always tell, for their voice too seems to diminish with each response to my question. Like a snake takes in it’s surroundings each time it’s forked tongue sticks out,  I too can taste the fear from my shivering victim. And finally they can’t seem to answer as they await for me to uncoil and strike for their jugular. It only seems natural, it only seems fair that I sink my fangs into them and share my poison with them. But it never comes. The most I do is coil back but I never strike. Sorrow overtakes anger as the silence grows. Tears should well up but I’ve long since forgotten how to cry. My emotions are suppressed together with my venom. As my trust is broken, grief seems to pollute my mind. All that’s left to do is to simply walk away and leave my victim be. And my guilt is my shadow that creeps behind me that whispers in my ear that no one is to blame but me. My victim pacifies them self with anti bodies of relief flooding their system. I on the other hand allow guilt to rain over me until the expiration date is well and gone,

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