I’m sitting in the dark with the Naruto themed “Relaxing music and rain sound” playing in the background. And I just got the feels as a sudden wave of nostalgia washed over my heart. But it also got me thinking….
Where do I see myself in the next 5 years ?
The past 5 years feel like they have gone up in complete smoke. 2015 taught me the value of having friends and falling in love. 2016 taught me how to lose friends and what heartbreak is. 2017 showed me the horrors of a post grad year and what suppressed emotions do to a person. 2018 simply faded away as did my social status due to being unemployed for an entire year. 2019 brought with it fresh opportunities in employment and meeting new people.
And now we’re in 2020, and I’m facing suppressed feelings of affection towards a friend and uncertainty regarding the future. So I wonder, what shall the next 5 years bring to me ?
My main priority is career wise. Like everyone else, I obviously want to earn a rate or salary that allows me to live the lifestyle of comfort that I desire. But I also want something that brings me job satisfaction. I want to have my intellect challenged, I want to sharpen my skills, to be mentored by a brilliant mind. At the end of 5 years I want to have accomplished a lot. I want to work in a team that is comprised of people who are always striving to grow and develop. And I want their influence to rub of on me. At the same time, I’d like these people to be warm soulful people who are colleagues in the office and friends on the weekends.
My next priority is romance I guess ? But like everyone else, there feels like there is so much to over come. Trust issues, inconsistent feelings, judgement, fear and commitment are some of the few hurdles that I need to overcome as an individual. Can I finally let go of the past and all the pain that’s hidden within it ? Should I confess to a friend or try with someone new ? It’s all so confusing yet everyone my age seems to be progressing, so I should start trying, because it must be right.
Maybe friends as well. My soul wants to travel to a lot of different places. I want to go hiking on mountain trails, get the blood pumping with some paint balling, rest my body at a health resort, take road trips with Indie music that I’ve never heard before. But more importantly, I want to do this with a group of fun people. I need people that are just a call or text away, without having to worry about their shift schedule or things like that. I want to have a group of people who make simply hanging out in the garden an everlasting fun memory in the form of photos and media posts.
And finally as a person. I want to develop as a kinder and more detached human being. I want to be closer to the Lord than anything or anyone. I want to be free and content with the life I’m living. It’s easy to write this all down with the thought that is all for the distant future, but that’s false.
Because 5 years ago, I finished campus. 4 years ago, I entered the industry. 3 years ago I took studying a step further. 2 years ago I spent almost every night at an Ashram. 1 year ago I was mercifully returned to the world of employment. So, what’s left for the future, my future that I desire ?
The Lord, I pray to you. You and You alone are enough.
Jai Sri Krishna