Why do people deny their feelings towards someone that they like/love ?

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Hi Guys, it’s Aavi back again, with a completely random topic. I felt like I had to write about this topic since there didn’t seem to be enough content when I googled it. So I guess you could say I’m writing this to add to the content. I’m going to focus on the “why” instead of the “how”.

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So, the first reason would be self preservation, and I don’t mean this in selfish way, but rather in a healthy way. It’s no secret that the older you get, the more baggage you inevitably carry, whether it’s your own or others. And a lot of the time it’s because you got hurt by someone. Perhaps you opened yourself, left yourself vulnerable or trusted someone and this resulted in you getting hurt. Maybe this has happened multiple times, and this has fueled your need to remain intact to be more important than to be more important than your desire to be in love.

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The next reason is that you probably don’t want to hurt someone. The second reason is no surprise because it’s the opposite of the first. Perhaps you’ve unintentionally hurt someone or some people in the past ? Or maybe you have a history of screwing up constantly and you know you can’t be trusted ? This usually is the case for people who are denying their feelings for someone close to them like a friend or colleague.

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The third reason is fear of destroying something that is safe for a risk (uncertainty). This happens when you have an existing relationship, one that is of comfort and is probably balanced. In these cases, the person can be a close friend, co-worker, mentor, coach, therapist or a range of other things. In these instances, there’s often a certain degree of closeness that allows for trust and deep meaningful exchanges. However, there’s just enough distance that is forcefully or naturally maintained to prevent things going further. And this is to avoid destroying a comfort zone in order to gamble for immense bliss or tragic loss.

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The feeling of not being good enough for someone .The fourth reason is usually common with the 21st century shy guy and the wall flower girl. In these cases, this reason may hold true for some cases but not all. Sometimes people repress their feelings because they feel that they would be a stain to the glory of the one they secretly desire. Perhaps they feel that they don’t deserve a counter part as wonderful, or attractive, or wealthy or intelligent. These can be dangerous because it commonly leads to these people seeking meaningless distractions that could most likely lead to the destruction of any chance of being with their desired counterpart. Additionally, this would drive in the feeling or worthlessness.

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And the final reason that I would harp on about is that the person that they fall for does not meet their expectations or goes against their mindset. In some cases, people would deny their feelings because it would feel like they have “settled” for someone rather than “settling” with someone. Or perhaps the person they fall for is the bad boy/ bad girl that they vowed never to date, although that usually does happen. In these situations, people always feel that if they give in to their moment’s temptation, this would lead to them missing out on an adventure of a lifetime (romance).

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So, that’s it from me, Ciau.

Jai Sri Krishna

 

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